Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Rest well brother




Religion and race and skin color is all that matters to people nowadays. Each one wanting to make an impact on who is superior. Well the fact is nobody really know who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, so why all the drama. The last you will be seen is 6 feet down the ground or in ashes. Just live life simple, why complicate it. [Prasanth Bhujan, 1984-2014]


While the prophet of Islam taught us about the brotherhood and sisterhood, the unity despite of differences of skin color, races and languages, some were still shouting about racism. I’m a blessed person for even though I was born and taught about Malay supremacy, I manage to wake up early and see the beauty of this world when you mix with someone different than you. While some of the so called Islamic leader said; “the saliva of the Non Muslim were unclean”, I’m happy that I went another way around. We ate and drank using the same plates and glasses without feeling being contaminated.


Who said that Muslim and non Muslim can not live together? Yes we can. As long as we believed that we were the descendent of Adam and Eve, we respected each other believe and accept the differences among us as sign of creator’s greatness. And this special entry described about our friendship that extended beyond the boundary of religion and races. Unfortunately, death had separated us from continue to cherish it until we grow old.


He was my junior in our housemanship training in Tawau General Hospital. We were differ about one month. Obstetric & Gynecology was our first posting together but then we work in almost all department; orthopedic, surgery, medical, pediatric and Emergency & Trauma Department. After few months, we were re united again under the same roof as Medical officer of Emergency & Trauma Department in Hospital Lahad Datu. 2 years and 10 months of knowing each other, and yet so many memories that grow together.


I’m not close to him at first. Well, sometime he got emergency and came to work late. He got sick quite often. But at that time, I used to scold him and asked him to come to work on time. Maybe the burden of the job at that time stressed you up when somebody did not turned up. But then, once I know him better then I started to understand about his condition. Well of course, I do scold him when he made mistake in works. He admitted that he was not a fast learner as other but he was willing to learn. He was very hardworking, he took initiative to learn and he become a safe doctor and someone you can trust. Well sometime he got sad as well because superior were picking him up but he was a determined guy. Despite of being extended, he grow to become a good doctor.


And when we did our MO’ship together, he was among the safest doctor that I know. He was the man who willing to put aside his ego as long as it was for patient’s benefit. He didn’t mind admitting that he do not have idea on what was happening to the patient and consulting you because he understand his limitation. He had a very good bedside manner. He never scold his patient and never forgot to put a smile every time he met with patient. He talked in a soft voice and never being rude. I remember I once burst out in front of the patient with severe Acute Exacerbation of Asthma who asked for “AOR” discharge and he was the one who talk back to the patient until the patient stop throwing tantrums.


We used to work in busy shifts. Most of them are hell with non stop yellow zone cases and full bed red zone cases. But we never ever forgot to make jokes and laugh. When the nurses out of sanity, we teased them back and the department filled with laughter again.


There were time when I was so exhausted and having sleepless night. I felt asleep at the counter. He wake me up and said. “Hey, go and take nap in the MO room la. Don’t sleep here”. I told him. “Okay, give me half an hour”. But instead, I slept for nearly three hours and he never wake me up. I felt guilty and he said. “Never mind bro. Everything is under control! Don’t worry.”


He was the man who will stay even when his shift finish just to help you when you were too busy and there were too many patient. He will stay even up to six hours which mean doing nearly two straight shift. In fact, he tried not to pass over cases that he attending even though finishing his shift. He will said, “Never mind bro, once I settle everything I will go home.”, “Never mind bro, this is a simple case la, I will discharge him.”, “Bro, this case is for admission but I did not manage to contact the respective team. Never mind la, I will call and admit the patient.”


When someone talked bad about me, he stood up and defending me. I owe him so much.

How can i ever forgot when people could not pronounced his name. He would teach them to pronounce it like a primary school student. Pra- "santh". but still some will pronounce it as other. and i will always remember his handwriting as well. small and sometimes look like he was shaking. 


We went to the gym together, chilling out in the steam room and talk about so many thing. He talked about his experience in Ukraine as well as Indonesia. How they were pointed gun straight to their head and threatened to be killed. How the spark of racism nearly got them in trouble.



He used to talk about his family. How great his father in raising his siblings. I still remember when he told me. He used to love a Nike sport shoes during his childhood. His father insisting on him to buy it but he knows that they were not from rich family. And he choose the cheapest shoes for did not want to burden his father. And when he work and received his salary, that was the time when he bought his dream shoes.


He was the man who loves his family so much. He bought a nice Honda car for his father and yet he drove second hand Putra car. He work so hard and give the money to the family. She truly loves one girl but letting her go because he wanted to repay his family first and not ready for marriage live.


We talked about so many things. We talked about our dream girl, his past relationship, the type of girl that he loves. We talked about career, about our future. He used to tell me that I should find a girl to marry and not to screw the girl. He recommends so many potential mate to me and wanting to be my wing man. He used to told me how rich man were actually looking for simple live. In his housing area, rich man drive luxurious car and yet settling down in a house with basic requirement. He told me. We should be like that too. If we ever get rich, we should live our life simple and be happy.


He was so insisted to go back to semenanjung because he wanted to bring his dad for an appointment. Besides, he was attending his best friend wedding ceremony. He told me to find locum slot for him in July and he will do “kow-kow” locum. Besides, he asked me to arrange his schedule just like I used to do it before.


I book a holiday request in our book in the morning before I fly to KK for my conference. But he was too greedy. I gave him five days off and yet he decide to take leave forever and never come back anymore. How could he did that to me and to the rest of us.


I was in car heading to conference hall when I was informed that he met an accident. I talked to a friend who was attending him. His GCS is 13/15, he sustained multiple open fracture but vital sign still holding up. We were planning to transfer him to Tawau for definitive plan. And the specialist in Tawau was known about it and request to facilitate his family to come to Tawau. And i called his best friend and he rushed to Kunak.


Few minutes later my friend called me again saying that his blood pressure start to drop. I urge him to transfuse immediately and stabilize him. After half an hour, he informed me that the situation getting worsened and they were intubating him. I was puzzled and couldn’t even focus on my course. Then i received a call saying that they did CPR for 20 minutes and able to revive him. Pupil were fixed and not reactive. I told them not to gave up and transfuse blood and aggressively resuscitated him. They were trying their best. It was not easy for them because the patient in front of them were their close friend as well.


Then communication broke. I was waiting nervously. I thought he was doing fine and ready for transport. In fact, one of our MA from Lahad Datu already arrange a medivec for possible air transport after stabilizing him. But then i receive a call from my friend. She was crying over the phone and told me that they are doing CPR for 50 minutes and still in asystole. I burst in cry. After four years, that was the first time i cried again. I couldn’t accept the fact and asked them to try harder and try to reverse it. Look for pneumothorax or hemothorax and insert the chest tube and give more blood. She said she will try. After few minutes, she called me back. She was crying so hard and keep on apologizing for not able to resuscitate him. They were pronouncing him. My chest become tight and i couldn’t believe it at all. I can hardly breath and i cry in front of everybody. I just lose a good friend of mine. I was asking GOD why it happen and why took his life.


I told her, “it’s ok. I know all of you have tried your very best. It must be very hard for you to intubate and doing CPR to someone who you know very well. I told them, i also not sure how would i perform it if I’m the one attending him.”


The scenes from Grey Anatomy comes in when the team resuscitating George. It was not easy job for them. It was the same thing happen when Dr Pratt, one of attending in emergency room being resuscitated by his fellow friend in the series of ER!. The last thing you wanted to do is to attend someone you know in his or her critical situation.


Later, someone send the pictures of his cars. It was severely damaged. I cried again learning that he stuck inside the car before being pulled out. I couldn’t imagine how much pain he suffered with those multiple long bone fracture and abdominal injury and brain injury.


Everybody cried and feel the emptiness of the soul after his departed. Nobody can forgot his kindness, his smile and his jokes. My colleagues couldn’t functioning because of missing him so much. Everybody miss him.


I too feel the awkwardness when i enter the department after coming back from KK. It was full of silence and something was not right. But i promise myself that i will stay strong and become a better doctor after this. So that when somebody friend, son, daughter, mother, father and lover brought in with critical situation then i could do something to salvage them.


Dear friend. I can only now say goodbye and hoping that you will rest well there. I know that everybody miss you and i hope that you will become our guardian angle and watch us from above. Rest well my brother

36 comments:

Lv Liyah Gabriela said...

Rest well Dr.. God love u so much
Everybody who know you love you too..

Anonymous said...

Hey, Naim.. Never had the pleasure of knowing either of u.. But just wanted to say, this is such a beautifully written piece, so sincere, so honest, so straight from the heart.. I'm sure he wud be smiling if he read this article, to see how much people loved him & how truly meaningful the relationships he invested in were.. It's always hard losing someone close to us, especially one we see everyday.. I think getting over his loss wud really take much time.. I also think it's ok to cry & mourn & remember, but I pray u guys get over this loss soon.. He was so lucky to have friends like u with him while he was here... Do stay strong... All the best...

hi ji said...

I am honestly burst into tears reading this..tq so much for this open-eye sharing..

Anonymous said...

Nate naim..mu buat ak jerik..huhu..keno bayar air mato ku..mon

Brutu Balan said...

Very touched by your sincerity, your great love and admiration of your friend and fellow doctor, Naim. May his memories always be etched in your mind forever as you see every patient.

Anonymous said...

I can't stop my tears flowing as I read. The world needs people like you to go beyond religion and skin colour to serve selflessly. Just Being Human.

Anonymous said...

Tq Dr naim..mengalir air mata baca..u r a good fren bro

Anonymous said...

Thanx for writing this,dr.naim...oh my dearest dr.prasanth..�� u r always b remembered...MHDU tawau missed u a lot!

Anonymous said...

Although I only knew Prasanth for a year, I remember just how amazing he was! He was more like a brother than a friend... Reading this article reminded me of the wonderful times we've shared and how he would joke while putting on a serious face... and yes the way he introduces himself Pra-santh....! A wonderful article from you depicting just what he was... He would always remain in our hearts and may the soul of this wonderful person rest in peace...

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful written note to a dear friend.. brought me to tears.. and it reminds me to be always kind and selfless and that to be grateful for what we have for we never know when will we loose them..thank you..

Anonymous said...

The friendship btw u n Dr prashanth brought tears to my eyes....

Emi Cumil said...

Huhu...you org pertama yg gtau keadaan prasanth to me..im crying so hard...he is my fren but im not there on that tym...i stil rememberthe moment when i said hate u so much coz breaking that bad news to me.....dear baby prasanth...mhdu love you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr Naim, your sincerity is beyond words. I could sense that every cell of yours was oozing with love and sincerity as you wrote this. You could have taken the easy route out, by just crying inside and gone on with life. You Naim, proved that beneath our exterior, all of us will bleed RED blood, and colourless tears for anyone whom we love sincerely. Well done, and may the good Lord bless you and your family always. You are indeed a true Muslim and outstanding human being.

Anonymous said...

you are atrue friend doctor

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace brother.... You will be miss.....

Anonymous said...

Written by a true friend.
I had tears reading this.
Prashanth was blessed with good friends.
I'm sure he is up there resting amongst the angels.

Dr. Khairul said...

Dear Naim. A very beautifully written eulogy form a true friend indeed. It is really touching and sad that your friendship with late Prasanth ended abruptly. The first time I met him was at the Gym last month and you the one introduced him to me. We chit chat for a while during the steam bath after the Gym session and I got to know briefly about his background and family.At that brief moment he spoke volumes about you and told me that you are like his big brother or "Taiko" and he learned a lot of things about emergency medicine and practical from you. He was such a nice person and down to earth. I can feel the pain you endure. Please stay strong and take care.

luisa chung said...

Good person will save in haven... RIP......

rukesh ganesan said...

A good samaritan.rest in peace prasant..

Anonymous said...

Naim..sedihnya aku rasa..sebak terus...azzry

Anonymous said...

True friendship... totally understand wat u r going thru dr.naim.. lost ma best fren last year.. the way u describe abt the medical assistance reminds me of wat ma fren went thru... may u rest in peace brother prasanth n stay strong dr.naim... he wud definitely be there for u as ur guardian angel..

Anonymous said...

Reading your article brought me to tears...I don't know you guys but this is very sad..to the late Dr..may your soul rest in peace..
To the writer..condolences for your loss..stay strong..

Anonymous said...

I never met him,but im pretty sure dat he was a good person..he is now resting peacefully in the loving hand of God..amen

Anonymous said...

I knew Dr Prasanth since we in standard one. I am shocked to know that he was already by the side of creator few days ago. Rest in peace my friend. I will remember you forever as my childhood friend.

sharmalah rajasivam said...

Naim..I ve no words to express how you ve been amazing as a friend to prasanth. My tears flow as I read your story....perhaps god needs him more than we do as he is such a beautiful soul. I salute your friendship! He would be so proud....

Anonymous said...

A very touching story....He was lucky to have had a friend like you....Life has to go on ...be the compassionate DR that you are...All the best Naim !

Anonymous said...

very touching experience Dr. My tears dropped unknowingly.... hope his soul rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

Kisah anda btl2 menyentuh hati.. saya menangis slps mmbcanya.. saya x pernah kenal dgn nya dn x prnh kenal mana2 Dr stkat ni yg blh saya samakn dgn peribadi nya... kehilangan nya ada lh 1 kerugian besar kpd semua. Smoga tuhan berkati dia.. dn smoga ada lebih ramai lagi Dr yg berperibadi baik seperti nya d luar sana.. kuatkan semangat anda dan smoga anda juga diberkati dlm prjalanan karier anda. Selamat bertugas dgn penuh cinta kasih dan keikhlasan. Amen.

Malaysia Tercinta said...

You sir had brought a grown man to tears.
We need more friends like you and the late Dr.Prasanth in this world.

ML MANIVANNAN said...

Example of everyone...great

Anonymous said...

May his soul rest in peace. Appreciate ur friendship,Dr.

kenneth william said...

Dear Dr. naim,
It is now one week since Prasanth has gone and I only have the courage to write this to you now. You are truly one of his closest brother and from your expression I know you both were really close. I can feel your pain as it just leaves a very bitter taste in your mouth and a very uneasy pain that you feel within yourself. Sadly it is going to take some time to get by without his presences. You get people once in a while in your life that really makes an impact and changes everything. Well Prasanth did that! It is for those reasons and memories that will keep all of us going, it might take a while or longer but it is better to have known him and appreciate his friendship and cherish your moments together. You are his brother in arms who looked after him in Lahad Datu and until his very last moments, for that you will always be remembered by his family. As Prasanth's brother, Anandh had said that " god had send him to earth to do all his mission and upon accomplishing all that he needed to do the angels had taken him back as his job here on Earth was complete"

I'm Prasanth's eldest brother, although we are not related by blood but we are related in all other aspects. We don't need blood to be related. We grew up in the same estate and have known him everyday from the day he was born. We all are still trying to come to terms in our on ways but it is going to take us a very very long time. The loss is just unimaginable not to be able to see or talk to him over the phone which he frequently does. He calls his parents sometimes 4 times in a day. Just imagine the type of son he is.

Besides all his friends here we never knew he had such an extended family in Sabah with all you guys until now. All you guys are also feeling the loss and I guess Sabah will always be his second home as he just loved Sabah from the way he talks of all his friends. You guys are lucky to have met Prasanth.

On behalf of the family, once again I thank all his friends and working colleague who helped Prasanth especially those at Hospital Kunak, Lahad Datu & Tawau who tried their best to save their friend. I can only hope all of you find the strength to pull you through this dark times and cherish his memories.

Prasanth's family have some comfort in knowing that their youngest son was well cared for with his Sabah family.

Do take care of yourself Dr. Naim and thank you for being such a great friend and brother to my youngest brother. I miss him very .........!

Kenneth - Ipoh.

Vani said...

Hi Dr Naim,
Reading Your write up pertaining to the late Dr Prasanth Bhujan brought tears to my eyes and lump in throat. It is great consolation that some of our Malaysian youths can live, study, work together and love & respect each other irrespective of race, religion, colour and creed in the name of humanity. He is a great soul raised by great parents who are my very good friends/ brother& sister. Dr. Prasanth's life span was short but it was lived with full of happiness, meaningful purpose and total commitment, thus, wining hearts and earning friendship where ever he went or with whom he was associated with. Our Malayalee community has lost one of our great sons. Being who he was, he is in God's domain as a guardian angel. God bless you, and keep you well.

Vani Nair

Anonymous said...

Never know some1 related was in hospital lahad datu nearly for a years. Once my cousin told then we come back from Bidor for entending my uncle 16th day prayer( he passaway because of cancer) then we planning to look for him at the hospital soon...but, only two days after we reached lahad datu, my cousin called and informed...i was in shocked. I regrets!!! He shud've known us...he shud know that he got relatives in lahad datu...but why? I flashback 12 years ago...my brother had car accident in July 2002. Nothing injured...then during deepavali we went to Bidor for a family holiday...evry1 was excited...on the nite of deepavali 4th Nov 2002....he was enjoying with his cousins...the next morning he got fever...vomitting..and headache...my parents take him to clinic...few days become worst...on the 8th Nov 2002...suddenly he was like kena sawan...the my parent hardly trying to rushed him to Tapah hospital but on the way his nails all become blue...his lips all blue...and that was his last day on earth....we were told that he was having inner bleeding...after he passaway...bloods was coming out from his ears...nose..in black! He is now resting in peace at bidor....we never have the chance to bring him back to lahad datu. As my father said..my late bro 1stly he dowan to follow for the holiday in the 1st place...but suddenly last minute he told he want to follow...and my father keep in mind tat bidor is my brother's choice to stay forever....

sweet guys all go to heaven..

Goon Hoong Tatt said...

We studied in the same class in med school. Ever helpful and uncalculative. One of the best people i ever had the great fortune of knowing. Sad not to have stayed in touch after graduation. He shall be missed.

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